Sirius
by xX-Ashi-Xx
Summary: Sirius was sixteen when he left his family. This is the beginning of his story.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: All characters and places mentioned are the property of J.K. Rowling._

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Chapter one

_Painful Goodbyes_

The gentle clattering of fine china was all that could be heard; the Blacks did not waste their time on idle chatter. The thought made Sirius sigh. It wasn't as if his mother and father would have anything pleasant to say. He wished it weren't so long before he could go back to Hogwarts, to his friends. He should have put his name down to stay in the castle. What kind of Christmas was this anyway? Parents he hated, brother who wouldn't let his big brother save him… Since the age of eleven he had been ostracized by the Blacks, with the exception of a few relatives. It was really getting old by sixteen.

"Cygnus tells me that his Narcissa is to be wed."

"Oh, really? To who is she engaged? I must send her an owl," said Walburga, Sirius' mother, with a polite interest.

"Lucius Malfoy," was the quiet reply from his father. Orion Black was not a loud person, but his tone was always one that held great authority.

Sirius accidentally choked on the mouthful of the tea he was drinking; his mother's head whipped around so fast he was surprised she didn't get whiplash.

"Do you have something to say, boy?" she barked at him, her black eyes shining malevolently.

"I was told Lucius was the one responsible for the torturing of my friends' parents," he said darkly, his handsome face taking on an expression of deepest loathing.

"Well with the company you keep its not surprising the Dark Lords after them!" She exclaimed ruefully.

"Oh, just shut up, you silly old bat," Sirius said, placing his tea cup on the table and rising from his chair.

"Don't you _dare _talk to your mother like that!" his father thundered, also rising from his chair, shocking his family with his sudden explosion, "You're just a rebellious little boy, you don't have the right to behave this way!"

"Just because your silly little mudblood friends are being culled; you think that makes you a hero. You think it makes you special. You think it makes the _muggles _special… You make me sick thinking about the kind of blood traitor I've created!" Mrs. Black cried, slapping her eldest son hard across the face with the back of her hand.

A red handprint was forming on his right cheek, bubbles of blood visible where the rock on her ring had made contact.

"You guys don't get how things really are do you?" Sirius asked quietly, his voice low, "You don't have friends dieing left and right, you don't have house-mates leaving every few weeks because some family member was murdered, you don't have to DEAL with members of your _own fucking family _treating you as if they're royal and you're the scum of the earth! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DESERVE THAT? WHAT MAKES YOU BETTER THAN ME?" he yelled.

"WE BECAME BETTER THAN YOU THE DAY YOU SUNK DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL!" his mother rebutted.

"YOU'RE LOWER THAN ANY OF THEM WILL EVER BE!" he raged, turning with the intention of exiting the room, before a hard blow blasted the side of his head, throwing him against the door frame, rattling the pictures hanging on the sitting room wall.

"_I said not to take that tone with your mother, young man." _Orion yelled, the vibrations of his voice hitting Sirius with the impact of a steam roller, as another blow encountered the side of his face.

Sirius took a moment to recover from his father's attacks; it did not take long. He looked his father squarely in the eye, their shoulders matching each others' in height.

"You think that this Voldemort guy can just waltz in and take over the world with his pure-blood elitism and army of Slytherin fools? Fine. You think that. But when we fight back, and trust me, we _will_ fight back, who's going to come out the better there? Dumbledore's army or Voldemort's gang of meatheads?" Sirius said clearly, his voice even. His mother looked about to interrupt, so he spoke louder as he continued, "You're going to send Regulus on this mighty crusade, and he's going to die."

"Hey!" said the younger Black, looking rather outraged.

"Shut up, kid. You don't understand what's happening here. You're fourteen. You're naïve. And one day, you'll think you understand, and you'll do something you think is right, or something your friends say is right, or something _they-" _he gestured toward their parents, "tell you is right. You'll be a hero. Merlin knows Bella will be proud. But none of you... you… you IDIOTS know what this is! It's a stupid ploy to get power! And when it all boils down, no one's going to come out the better. Just a bunch of broken homes."

"You think you 'understand' these things better than we do, do you boy?" Walburger said in a painfully low voice, moving forward so as her face was mere inches away from her son's, "I've got thirty-five years on you. Thirty-five years of honour, of principles, of PURITY! I did as I was told, the way YOUR ancestors wished it. I did things the right way. I did things the BLACK way! No son of mine is going to besmirch our family name…" Her eyes narrowed as she looked into the eyes of her son, the same eyes that were shared by all of the Blacks. "I'm ashamed of you. You don't deserve the roof we put over your head."

She spat at his feet and turned around. The room was silent for a long moment, until Sirius finally spoke.

"Fuck you."

Sirius obviously wasn't thinking clearly. Before he even registered what he'd said, He was knocked onto the floor. When he tried to get up, a spell was fired at him, sliding him back against the wall.

His head was spinning, and curse after curse was being thrown at him. His insides felt like jelly and stone at the same time, and each flash of light brought with it another painful experience. Then the last one hit, and he was put under the most excruciating torture he'd ever experienced; his bones were on fire, his head splitting. His eyes rolled back into his head and he lilled it to stop, willed the agony to end. He wanted to _die, _anything for it to just stop.

When his father had finally granted him a reprieve from the Cruciatus curse, both he and his mother exited the room, leaving Sirius to recover by himself, limp and weakened.

Regulus hesitated by the door, then turned back and leant down beside his brother, offering him a hand up, which he weakly accepted.

"I'm not as naïve as you think I am," Regulus whispered, dusting Sirius' shoulders off as he balanced against the wall, "and one day, I'm going to make a difference," his voice lowered even further, "One day, Sirius, you're going to be proud of me."

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A/N: Hey! Not sure if this fic is good or not :\ My friend Carol liked it and i hope you do to.. Err.. Please Review so i know if it sucks or not... ) Flames are welcome. 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Wanted to post this thursday night but the thingy wouldn't let; Well, its here now!

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I claim to own, any place, character or anything else that originated in the Harry Potter books.**  
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**Chapter Two - Lonely**

Sirius stumbled from the house. He'd only what was in his coat pockets, which he had thankfully remembered to grab on his way out. In a stroke of dumb luck, Sirius had met James in Diagon Alley that day and had his money bag, Gringotts key, wand and… Some candy?

Wiping off his face as he reached the curb, Sirius extended his wand and braced himself. Before his eyes adjusted to the purple mass in front of him, a voice was flooding Sirius' thoughts.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stubby Boardman, and I will be your conductor for this evening."

Sirius stepped on board and the triple decked vehicle and slumped on the closest bed. The young man, Stubby, muttered a few jovial words to the driver, before they took off at a break-neck speed.

"Y'alright there fella?" Boardman asked, coming to stand near Sirius' bed, holding onto the bed posts as he went.

"F…fine," Sirius breathed, his lungs not yet operating fully, "Fine thanks."

"'Ere, lemme fix you up a bit, eh," Stubby pulled out his wand and waved it vaguely around the vicinity of Sirius' head. "You lookin' a bit bloodied up… You been in a fight or summat?"

"Or something, yeah," Sirius replied, a smirk finding its way onto his face.

"What's yer name, anyway?"

"Black. Sirius. Sirius… Sirius Black," he answered, thinking about what reaction the mention of his surname would evoke.

"You a Black, then? Yeah, I heard about you lot…" Stubby looked out the window, pensive expression on his face.

"I'm not like that," Sirius said his voice stronger, "I'm not like them."

"Hey, now, I ain't saying nothing about what you like," Stubby said. "A mate of mine married one of that lot a while back. Caused a bit of a fuss, mind. The family kicked up a stink about him bein' muggle-born and all. They got a little kid now. Cute little bugger."

Sirius chuckled softly. "You know Ted, Andy's husband? It's a small world…"

"Hey, where you goin' anyway? You not lookin' so hot mate," Stubby said, as if noticing Sirius' limp demeanor for the first time.

"Oh… just take me to the Hogs Head."

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Oblivious to the odour of the place, Sirius collapsed on the bed, tired and drained, hoping for sleep to befall him.

However, the thoughts of the evening played on repeat over and over in his head, the vivid memories flashing before his eyes, allowing him no chance to fall into the peaceful slumber he so desired. He lay awake for most of the night thinking about what the ramifications of his running away would be. Disinheritance was imminent. Slytherins at school would also waste no time in harassing him once the news of his disconnection spread. For the next summer, he didn't have a place to stay. He had very little money that he could still access, with his parents most likely going to withdraw his name from the list of people entitled to the money in the Black family vault, and his own private vault held very few galleons.

His tired eyes began to gently close, bringing him to a fitful sleep full of dreams he couldn't escape, about things he never wished to think of again.

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"Sirius? Is that you?"

Sirius looked up from his drink, and was surprised to see Lily Evans sliding into the seat across the table from him, her own beverage now neatly placed on a coaster.

"Lily? What are you doing here? It's Christmas… and dirty," Sirius replied referring to the inn, staring quizzically at the usually proper young woman before him.

"I've no family, Sirius, you know that," Lily said, taking a sip of her drink, a sad air surrounding her.

"The Hogs Head, though, Lily, you shouldn't just hang around in a place like this… it's not safe, especially for pretty young girls like you. And isn't it a tad early to be hitting the grog so hard?" he commented as she drained her glass and signaled for another. This certainly wasn't the Lily he was familiar with.

"Why aren't _you_ at home having Christmas lunch with your family?" she asked him, a small glare gracing her features.

"Since when do you care about my family?" he snapped back, draining his glass and slamming it on the table, "What the hell is wrong with you anyway?" Lily had just laid her head down on the table.

She mumbled something incoherently. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"How much did you have before you came over here?" he asked.

"Oh…well… one or two… then another one or two… and one in my room…"

"Merlin, _snap out of it girl!" _he whispered harshly, stealing the drink she was about to have a sip of.

"That's _my _drink! I paid for it!" Lily whinged, pouting, and glaring at Sirius in a childish manner.

"I don't care who bought it. It's 3 o'clock, and you're completely sloshed. No more," he said.

Lily looked defeated, and it saddened Sirius somewhat to see her in this state. He knew that he was losing a lot of respect for her; he couldn't imagine looking at her the same way again for a very long time.

"Hey, cheer up… You've still got me!" Sirius said, smiling meekly at her.

"Ooh, yay…" she said sarcastically, waving her arms around her head weakly. She was really starting to look depressed.

"Hey, why don't we go for a walk then? There's nothing better than a bit of vitamin D to cheer you up… You're looking awfully pale darling, are you feeling 100 per cent?" Sirius stood up and looked upon her with concern; Lily looked at him sadly and stood up, following him out of the dingy bar and into the snowy white streets of Hogsmeade.

"Look, I'm sorry I've gone a bit funny; it's just, the holidays, you know? It makes me think of them…" Lily started, walking close to him for warmth, "Think of the silly little traditions we had… Think of what I could be doing right now… Sipping hot chocolate with my mum and dad, getting ready to go see my Gran; all that garb. In the last year it's like I've got nothing left anymore."

Sirius sighed; the poor girl. All her family gone; at least his was still alive, not that that thought comforted him entirely. "I'm sure it'll get easier, Lily," he said. Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulders comfortingly.

She sniffed ever so slightly, and put on a brave, yet genuine smile. "I'm a survivor. Hey," she joked, making him chuckle, "you didn't answer my question before… Why aren't you at home, Sirius?"

As much as he _really_ didn't want to think about it, the concern in her voice weakened him a little, "I've run away," he stated.

The nymph stopped in her tracks, forcing him to stop with her. Standing directly across from him, she looked at his face with concern. "That's where you got all these isn't it?" Lily asked, gently tracing her soft fingers around his cut face.

Sirius suddenly found he was extremely embarrassed; now who was the one losing respect?

"Uh… yeah…"

"Oh! Oh dear! How terrible… Here, let me fix it for you. Charms is my best subject. I know a few minor spells I can use for you until we can get to Diagon alley or something to get some healing creams," Lily withdrew her wand and began sliding it around his face. Sirius was unsure as to what she was doing, as he could only feel small bursts of mild heat emitting from her wand. "There. It's not brilliant, but it's a start."

Lily stood beside him once again and continued walking; sobering further with each step she took.

The two teens continued to walk in a comfortable silence for awhile longer, until they found themselves back outside the Hog's Head.

"This is so unlikely; you and I barely talk at school and here we are, being all deep and meaningful," Lily said, with a slight laugh.

Sirius chuckled quietly, his bark like laugh absent for the day; "James is going to be jealous of me…" Lily's cheeks reddened slightly as she bit her lip and looked to the ground.

"Thanks, for today. It was nice. It helped. Imagine what would have happened had I not bumped into you, eh?" She said, "I better get going… I'm staying at The Leaky Cauldron, you know, and I haven't my Apparition license yet…"

"Stay, we could have dinner together or something," Sirius suggested hopefully.

"No, thanks for the offer though, I just… I'd really like to get back. Hit the hay, you know?" She smiled sadly at him. "I'll see you back in the castle. Merry Christmas, Sirius."

She rose to her tiptoes and lightly kissed his cheek, before turning away and walking back toward The Three Broomsticks, where she could use Floo to get back.

With a sigh, Sirius re-entered the bar and headed for his dingy little room, a feeling of loneliness and emptiness washing over him as he lay on his bed and stared at the dirty, stained ceiling.

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A/N: Fin. For this chapter. No, this is not a Lily/Sirius fic. That was not the intention, anyways. I hope to update soon, probably sometime before the holidays are over, but we'll see. Please tell me what you think of it, I dont think it was the best it could have been, but hey, what can you do right?

Reviews would make my day hinthint

x


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